Sunshine Challenge #1

[majorr]

Some thoughts on Joel based on the Sunshine Challenge prompt: a bouquet of blue iris blossoms speak of hope and faith, paralleled with NF’s Happy. It’s not 1:1, but a lot of the song screams Joel to me.

Watch on YouTube

I don't know why, but I feel more comfortable
Living in my agony

This defines a lot of Joel. Grief consumed him. It’s like feeling sad on a rainy day, how the world matches your mood that day, taken to an extreme. His life became something dark and sad and ugly, and the world filled with infected and morally bankrupt people reflected that. He sunk into his grief and let the rot of the world sink into him.

Yeah, been this way so long
It feels like something's off when I'm not depressed
I got some issues that I won't address
I got some baggage I ain't opened yet
I got some demons I should put to rest
I got some traumas that I can't forget

The king of shutting himself down and off.

Some family members I don't really connect with
Some things I said I wish I would've not let slip
Some hurtful words that never should've left my lips
Some bridges burned, I'm not ready to rebuild yet

He and Tommy still have things to work out. I don’t think that bridge is burned at all. Charred, maybe, in spots, but there’s damage. It could use some repairs before it takes more fire anyway.

I'm too proud to open up and ask ya
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in
The truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine
Who I'd be if I was happy

I think moving from that place of feeling comfortable in his agony where he’d been stagnant for the past twenty years and allowing himself to open up to Ellie, to care for her and be cared for by her, was close to a miracle after how long he’d been closed off to the idea of happiness. I do ultimately think that Ellie represented hope to him for the first time since Sarah died. Hope that he actually could heal. Hope that he could start a new life. Hope that what he loved most about himself, being a father, didn’t die with Sarah after all.

Comments

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

That song seems like a perfect fit for him.

Sometimes, people are sad because they just aren't done with the feeling yet. May never be done with it, even. I don't think it's fair when other people try to drag them away from it, as if they don't even have a right to their own feelings. But there can still be hope.

Re: Thoughts

[majorr]

Totally agree that sometimes things simply take as long as they take. It's another reason Ellie coming into his life when she did was a good thing. He might not have been in a place yet where he could respond to the hope she brought into his life if she'd shown up earlier. The timing worked out and hope prevailed.

[enemytosleep]

I've osmosed enough about the game/show to know who you're talking about here, and I love the way you've thought about the song lyrics and his battle with grief (and how a young girl amid the chaos brought him hope). The song is also really great on its own and was the first I'd heard it.

[majorr]

Thanks! I really enjoyed the prompt. And I'm glad you liked the song! NF is amazing. The new album is called Hope, oddly enough, so it went especially well with the prompt to explore Joel's character.

[asphaltcowgrrl]

I don't know the fandom, but I really like this song!

[majorr]

Yeah, I nearly broke the repeat button when it came out. lol

[asphaltcowgrrl]

Hahaha! There have been a few songs I've nearly done that with myself.